Zero maintenance
Touch Grass
Touch grass. Without leaving your desk.
$24.99Free shipping
- Ships in 2–3 days
- 30-day returns
- 10% goes to autistic-led charities
- Dimensions
- 80 × 80 × 25mm
- Surface area
- 0.0064 m² of lawn
- Pile height
- 15mm
- Surface
- High-density synthetic turf
- Base
- Matte ABS, weighted
- Watering schedule
- Never
- Mowing required
- No
- Sunlight
- Not applicable
- Pollen count
- Zero
- Insects
- None included
- Battery life
- Infinite
- Assembly time
- Zero minutes
You need to touch grass. Seriously.
Someone told you this. Possibly a friend, possibly a stranger in a comment section, possibly your mother. They were right, and you knew they were right, and you did not go outside. Outside has weather. Outside has other people, and a sun, and a nonzero number of wasps. So we removed the outside part. The grass is here now, on your desk, within reach of the hand you were already using to argue with someone about a video game. Touch it. You’ve technically complied. Nobody has to know the specifics.
Add to cart — $24.9901
Hypoallergenic
The only lawn that won't fight back.
02
Silent operation
Does not grow, does not need you.
03
Indoor rated
Has never been outside. Neither have you.
Membership
The Grass Club
One small object per month. Slowly, a lawn becomes a scene. It's the closest thing to a hobby that arrives in the post.
$14.99 / month
Where the money goes
10% of every order goes to autistic-led advocacy organisations.
The contribution is taken from every order, not from profit, and it goes to organisations that are run by autistic people rather than about them. We publish the list of recipients and the amounts sent each quarter.
Reviews
What people are saying
I touched it. I felt nothing, which is exactly what I expected from grass.
Genuinely well made. The turf is dense, the base has a nice weight, and it looks great next to my monitor.
My doctor said my vitamin D is low and my screen time is a medical concern. Anyway, great product.
Bought it as a joke gift. Three months later it's still on my desk and I absently run my hand over it during calls.
It has survived two office moves and one spilled coffee. Indestructible.
Told my coworker to touch grass. He touched it. HR was not involved. Five stars.
I touched it. I felt nothing, which is exactly what I expected from grass.
Genuinely well made. The turf is dense, the base has a nice weight, and it looks great next to my monitor.
My doctor said my vitamin D is low and my screen time is a medical concern. Anyway, great product.
Bought it as a joke gift. Three months later it's still on my desk and I absently run my hand over it during calls.
It has survived two office moves and one spilled coffee. Indestructible.
Told my coworker to touch grass. He touched it. HR was not involved. Five stars.
I mowed it with nail scissors once, as a bit. It did not need it. It never will.
Solid desk object. Packaging was minimal and recyclable. Docked one star because now I want the tiny fence.
It's the only patch of lawn I have ever successfully kept alive.
Surprisingly calming. I run my fingers through it during standup and my standups have improved.
Does not smell like freshly cut grass. I now realise this would have been a bigger problem than the alternative.
10% to autistic-led orgs sealed it for me. The grass is good too.
I mowed it with nail scissors once, as a bit. It did not need it. It never will.
Solid desk object. Packaging was minimal and recyclable. Docked one star because now I want the tiny fence.
It's the only patch of lawn I have ever successfully kept alive.
Surprisingly calming. I run my fingers through it during standup and my standups have improved.
Does not smell like freshly cut grass. I now realise this would have been a bigger problem than the alternative.
10% to autistic-led orgs sealed it for me. The grass is good too.
Questions